To Tweet Or Not To Tweet That Is The Question?

Do you remember the movie, The Truman Show with Jim Carey?

He was unaware that he was staring in a TV show in which everyone was watching him daily. Everything he was doing, everything he said, every interaction, was apart of a performance.

Individuals that choose to update their Twitter and Facebook accounts, are almost are living in a similar situation as the Truman Show…every aspect of a person’s day is monitored. A person goes out to dinner… they update, a person travels to a new place, they update, the only difference is they choose to be monitored.

I have stressed to the teenagers that I have worked with to consider that there is a fine line between how they create their Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter updates and then how these updates create the persona in which others see them.

Some teens want to believe that just like changing their style physically impulsively, they can change people’s perception of them online whenever they want. Teens love the idea that they are being watched and admired by others online, and many adults in their lives feed into their belief that they are followed online by lots of people.

As our digital world has expanded it has shifted more than how we spend our time and how we see others. The modern digital world has changed how we allow others to see us.

While it does seem difficult for teens to keep boundaries between the private and the personal sides of themselves online as the virtual world continues to grow, they are extremely good at self-expression online.

So many teens love to constantly update their entire day on Facebook and Twitter, from the moment they wake up to the time they go to sleep.

I recall one of my clients even updating his Twitter account in the middle of our session, telling me that he needed his ‘peeps’ to know something cool that I just said. I was very impressed that this teen wanted his peers to know that he was in counseling, and that he wanted to express himself in this way to them.

I read a great article written by the Author Peggy Orenstein in the New York Times Magazine in early August, about her struggle to reconcile her need and desire to post what she was doing on Twitter.

She spoke about the fact that at first she went on Twitter at the request of her publishers to generate publicity. However, she soon realized that it almost forced her to look closely at her feelings and experiences on the most basic level. (posting)”….was not really about my own impressions: it was about how I imagined-and wanted others to react to them."

We all have friends, family, and who knows, maybe even you…who like to have a status update on Facebook and Twitter daily if not throughout the day. Some of these updates are about everyday experiences, emotions, and some are about extraordinary opportunities. Like most online social networking experiences, these updates are probably about the hope for connection and opportunity for self-expression.

I wonder if all of us, teens and adults alike, can continue to use both the opportunity to connect and self express online, while realizing that unlike the Truman Show we are choosing to think that we may impact how others see us.

We are choosing to think that we are controlling how are others think of us. We are in a sense trying to “brand” ourselves, sell ourselves to others through our updates. We are not in a performance, even if we think we are.

If we think that our close friends are watching us, almost as an audience member, then what happens to real friendship and intimacy in our lives?

I wonder if it is time for us to remember as we were hopefully taught as children, not to worry about how others thought of us. Some of us dressed differently, followed the beat to our own drums, followed our hearts, reached for the stars, read books when others were playing sports, played sports when others were reading, did what was right when others didn’t…you get the point.

This is what we need to teach our children about being online, not to always worry about what others think of them, to write what is important to them, to write what helps them, to write what helps them connect to others, what allows them to self-express. Sure they should keep others feelings in mind, and do what is right. Some of us might need to remind ourselves of this lesson as well.

So for now, I hope that posting updates continues to be popular as a way to connect to others, as a way to express one’s self. As the virtual world continues to expand, so to can our attachments and bonds to others, it’s our choice.

Dr Hilary is going to think about her next post.

(You can find this post and her blog at http://www.familyinorbit.com)