The company SafetyWeb either uses the parents existing Facebook friendship status with their own child, or just acts like a outsider and monitors the existence of the account. However, the company SocialShield, asks the child to link to his or her account and monitors from within their Facebook account.

It seems to me that these companies may just be the tip of the parent internet monitoring iceberg. Can’t you see it now, your teen asks you to create a Facebook account. You say no problem, because you know deep down you have a team that is monitoring your child’s every move online. Each month you have a complete report sent to you that details every post on EVERY Facebook and social networking account your child has (even the ones they do not tell you about). For just $19.99 you can monitor your kids, comments, video games, friends, etc. You can even tell your friends about their teens, you will be the hit the of neighborhood.

It comes as no surprise to me, and I hope after reading my blog on www.Familyinorbit.com it does not surprise you that companies are emerging to make money off the fear that has been generated of our children not being safe online.

Daily we are bombarded with warnings of predators and dangers that exist online for children. The dangers that exist online for children, the warnings, how real are they?

Have you every heard from companies such as these how much money Facebook and other social networking sites pour into security? Isn’t it curious that there is commercial interest at the heart of this fear? Shouldn’t we worry what companies such as these are doing with our children and families personal information? How do we feel about outsourcing our own parenting?

As a parent, and as a professional that as had the honor of working with so many wonderful parents, I ask you to stop and consider a few basic ideas before giving into the fear of our children being online.

1. Just like you taught your child to leave your home, walk to school safely and avoid danger, you can teach your child to be online and avoid danger. There are predators, bullies, and other similar dangers like your child faces online outside your home…and you did a wonderful job teaching them to avoid stay safe and to find help when they needed it. You can do the same thing teaching your child about online safety. When to ask for help, Who they can and cannot talk to, What they can and cannot post, and Where they can and cannot go.
2. If you do not respect your child’s space online, there is a good chance you will not receive their respect. Our children should be able to see our actions and learn from them; not being upfront about what we are doing, reading someone’s private information without permission, these are actions that we would not permit our children, our spouses, our anyone else to do to us. I am not sure how we can justify these actions with our teenagers. Even if we say it is to protect them.
3. If you sneak around on your children’s social networking sites, email accounts, etc. without their knowledge/permission there is a good chance they will find another way to communicate without your knowledge. Unfortunately, this is when they may do things to get back at you, or in anger. Growing older is about individuation, or separation. Our children need to leave us or think they are leaving us in order to feel closer to us in the long run. In other words, give your teen the tools and the space to do what is right.