Child with Soul

Raising a Child with Soul

Ask your parenting questions, share views, and build your child's character! Slovie Jungreis Wolff is a relationship and parenting expert and author of Raising a Child with Soul.  Slovie’s resources below:

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What makes a good family great?

1. Unconditional love
2. Good communication
3. Joy
4. Gratitude
5. Discipline without humiliation
6. Belief in g-d

The power of words

1. Name-don't shame...name the action that you wish to correct but never shame your child
2. Don't over praise...praise should be deserved, not lavished
3. Criticism and discipline are not the same...give direction not criticism
4. Mirror your child's words and moods..."you seem upset", "you sound angry"-show empathy

Teach compassion

1. Parents should show their children that they do good deeds, not just speak about them
2. Show kindness to family, not just friends or strangers
3. Involve children with mitzvot (good deeds)

Compassion hands on

1. School aged kids can call a classmate who was absent
2. Little children can color cards for grandparents, neighbors, teachers and friends
3. Kids of all ages should call grandparents to say "hello", and not just when they get a gift
4. Children can always help others-babysitting, tutoring, baking a treat for a family under stress
5. Little kids can help with babies (encourage them to help instead of pushing them away)

Teach responsibility

1. Choose daily goals that are attainable
2. Give consequences if children misbehave
3. Help kids find solutions on their own
4. Don't give your kids all the answers; allow mistakes
5. Present options, allow choices
6. Agree on rules before your children get out of line
7. Give independence-don't suffocate your child

Show your children that you care

1. Instead of saying "what's the matter with you?”what’s wrong with you?" "what kind of mess did you get into now?"
2. Show empathy: "i think you had a really hard day" "it looks like you're really upset" -children hear your words of caring

Build your children’s relationship with you

1. Communicate with love
2. Maintain eye contact while speaking
3. Don't speak on the phone or use the computer while speaking or listening to your kids
4. Show interest in your child’s likes and dislikes
5. Listen to your kids point of view

Obstacles to good discipline

1. Shaming children-disciplining in public, shaming in front of siblings or friends
2. Calling kids names-'crybaby' 'pain in the neck' 'lazyhead' 'kvetcher'
3. Stripping children of their dignity-"what's the matter with you?" "are you crazy?"
4. Don't discipline if you are overstressed or exhausted
5. It's better to say "i'm upset, we'll talk about this later"
6. Don't ever speak while losing your self control-you can devastate your child
7. Criticizing is not disciplining
8. Never allow children to feel that you do not love them

Consequences

1. Children should understand why they are being disciplined
2. Don't keep on reminding children of their mistakes or wrong behavior after the consequence
3. Children should be responsible for apologies
4. Enforce your consequence-don't just threaten
5. Don't give in to crying or temper tantrums
6. Be consistent

Traits for raising a child with soul

1. Gratitude
2. Respect
3. Humility
4. Compassion
5. Awareness of G-d

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