The father of my daughter’s close friend has been battling what we all hoped would not be a life-threatening disease. After almost two years, our hopes have been replaced by a deep sense of uneasiness. This kind, sweet and gentle man has told us that the doctors have done all they can do, and it’s time for him to stop fighting. The following is his email. It speaks for itself, and I hope that it will serve as a real and deep inspiration to you, as it has for so many in our community.
“So many people have asked what they can do to help. I’ve thought about that a lot, and there is something tangible that each and every one of you can do that would provide incredible comfort and support to me. First, a bit of background: ‘Speech has been compared to an arrow: once the words are released, like an arrow, they cannot be recalled, the harm they do cannot be stopped, and the harm they do cannot always be predicted, for words like arrows often go astray. . . . It has been said that disparaging speech kills three: the person who speaks it, the person who hears it, and the person about whom it is told.’
So, back to my idea as to how you can all help. I am going to try to focus on this and avoid speaking negatively about people for the remainder of my life. I invite each of you to join me in this effort, using my life as the commitment period — so it won’t be all too long 
. Before committing, keep in mind that this is deceptively challenging. In fact, take one day just to notice how often you find yourself disparaging a person, whether an enemy (or even worse, a friend!), a colleague, or someone that you actually might not even know that well at all. I think you’ll notice that it’s remarkable how tempted we can be to fill a gap in a telephone conversation or at a meal with an unnecessary dig at some other person. I am really looking forward to living out my days in an environment free from this kind of haphazard negativity.
This is what will provide me with the support that I need to get through this ordeal.”
