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too much love

Hi Slovie!
Can too much love and caring spoil a child?? I just had my first son BH and I want to be there for him 24/7, the second he begins crying, he is already in my arms, can this be harmful for him later on? I believe he is gaining confidence and love, but maybe I'm making him too dependent? I dont know... where do we have to draw the line? When do we need to start putting limits? I believe you can never give too much love and caring... but can that attitute spoil my baby?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by slovie wolff on January 6, 2010 at 11:55pm

Mazal tov, michal!! Your concern is the concern of many new moms and with the exhaustion that comes with motherhood, we can easily be overwhelmed. There is a great difference between love and spoiling. Newborns need love, mommys and daddys to cuddle with, songs that sooth, and, of course, our prayers. None of this is spoiling and newborns are not ready for boundaries or limits.What you can do, though, is this: When he crys, you can see if he will sooth himself, adjust his position in his crib, or see if a paci would help, before you rush to pick him up. Sometimes babies cry in their sleep and need to find a more comfortable position or they have a moment of a belly ache and then the moment passes. You can try this and see, before you run and pick him up evey moment that he whimpers. He can then learn to sooth himself back to sleep and he will wake up after having had a better nap and you will not be holding him the whole day (and night). You can also see if he is soothed in a baby swing-just be careful to not overuse the time in a swing or an infant seat because of the issue that some parents are having with 'flat heads' and helmets.