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where di you begin?
i recently received an email from a young mom who came to my lecture:
i did not grow up with traditions or 'soul' and i want to give this feeling of soul that you speak about to my children . where do you think i should begin?
Do any of you have a thought on when and how you first felt that you were transmitting this feeling to your child?
i did not grow up with traditions or 'soul' and i want to give this feeling of soul that you speak about to my children . where do you think i should begin?
Do any of you have a thought on when and how you first felt that you were transmitting this feeling to your child?
Views: 9
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Frances Zelazny-Ganz on -
I would say it began even before they were born, my husband used to sing traditional Hebrew/Jewish songs to the "belly" (they were the only ones he knew in Hebrew!!!!!). After the first one came out and was crying, he started singing the songs again and she quieted down and looked at him in recognition. Her soul was already touched.
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Permalink Reply by slovie wolff on -
that is so beautiful and we know that our babies hear us in utero and recognize our familiar voices even the first week of life. but what would you say to this mom who does not even know how to sing a traditional song?where can she begin?
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Permalink Reply by Frances Zelazny-Ganz on
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sing any song, babies hear us and the softness of the voice comes through, it is more the "kavana" in which you speak the words and the example that you set for them in the way you treat and speak to others including your spouse, this is what you always talk about - see, even though i haven't come to class in a while, i savor the words :)
slovie wolff said:that is so beautiful and we know that our babies hear us in utero and recognize our familiar voices even the first week of life. but what would you say to this mom who does not even know how to sing a traditional song?where can she begin?
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Permalink Reply by slovie wolff on
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so I think that you are saying (as we have said in class about other topics, and ,yes, you have savored the words!),is that if you didn't grow up with traditions, begin with sanctity of your words by building shalom bayis in your home.
but what about concrete mitzvahs/ where would a new mom begin who has zero knowledge? what worked for you or your friends?
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Permalink Reply by Jodi on -
I think when you teach your children empathy, talk to the beggar or ask them to do something for someone less fortunate
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Permalink Reply by slovie wolff on
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that's the chessed part but what about the concrete mitzvos part-where would you feel a newcomer should begin ? what's point A??
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Permalink Reply by Maral on -
Point A - Is where it all begins, with the belief of UNITY in this world that we all came from one place G-D and that is a place we should always be in touch with - SO wake up every morning with your child and thank G-D for trusting you enough and bringing your soul back into your body each day. - If you wake up every morning thinking about your soul, where it came from, and how grateful you are to have one, it should hopefully follow you through the day. So I think the best place to begin with raising a child with a soul is teaching your child they HAVE a soul, where it came from, why its so precious, and what to do with it. ,
slovie wolff said:that's the chessed part but what about the concrete mitzvos part-where would you feel a newcomer should begin ? what's point A??
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Permalink Reply by Sarah Alevsky on -
I like that, Maral!
Modeh Ani Lefanecha - acknowledging we have a soul, and that it is G-d given, is the first step. I would start with morning and bed-time rituals. She can download Shema and Modeh Ani (there's audio on chabad.org) and sing along with her children. She can read it in the English if that is easier (and it might be more meaningful for her at this point)
At bedtime, its a time for us to reflect on our day. Did we do do OK? What could we have done better? it's a time to celebrate our accomplishments and learn from our mistakes. We end with "biyadcha afkid ruchi... in your hands I entrust my spirit/soul, which mirrors the morning statement of modeh ani - thank you for giving back my soul.
Bring in the rituals of Shabbat into your home: Lighting candles at sunset, kiddush and challah on Friday night is a good start. Celebrating Shabbat on a weekly basis gives your family the sense that your lives are centered around Judaism.
Another concrete Mitzvah would be tzedakah. Giving a penny every day to tzedakah, and discussing why you are giving and who will be benefiting is an important part of developing a deeper connection to your soul and to G-d.
Being "soul"fully jewish means infusing everything we do with mindfulness, kavanah. When you do something with intent, and the intent is to fuse it with G-dliness, the most mundane acts become ways in which to serve G-d, and gives our speech, thoughts and actions "wings".
We all do things mindlessly, but if we would practice at least once a day -whether its reciting a blessing with concentration before eating, or focusing on where our food we are enjoying came from, we will begin to bring kavanah into our lives, and wake up our souls. We should engage our kids in these conversations that make them more aware of our dependence on G-d for our existence, but in a gentle and upbeat way!
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Permalink Reply by slovie wolff on
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yes, you have given us a lot of food for thought. we need to be not only 'good' and 'nice' people, but we need to incorporate the mitzvot into our children's lives. and after a while, it's easy to just keep traditions out of habit and we lose the excitement. so besides 'shema', 'modeh ani', and 'tzedakah'-which are all great examples, we, mom's (and dad's of course) must always check that we are giving over the JOY of judaism.
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Permalink Reply by Sonia Schatzman on -
Does it make sense to start modeh ani and things like that even before they can talk?
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Permalink Reply by slovie wolff on
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ofcourse, even in utero, babies can hear a parents voice.yes, from the first moment that i held each child i sang modeh ani and shema. children absorb everything we say and do, and each prayer makes an impact on their soul
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