Go with the Flow

Go with the Flow
by Rebecca Klempner
           


              When planning outings for your children, you can be sure that at least one thing will not go as planned. Usually, it’s something small: a sippy cup left on the kitchen table, one too few diapers in the diaper bag, a cellphone forgotten at home. These misadventures—and how you handle them—can teach your children more about life than the picture perfect vacation ever could.
    This summer, our family has been enjoying a “staycation” here in sunny California. Camp Klempner has included fun at home—painting, Stratego (well, my five-year-old might not count that as fun, since he’s pretty much lost every game to his big brother), Legos, drawing lessons with yours truly—and fun outside the home—parks, museums, Savta’s house, the beach.
    We’ve forgotten that darned sippy cup more than a few times, neglected to check the time of low tide, and had one child come down with a fever just as we were packing for a day at the Science Center. We’ve also discovered that the best outings aren’t always the most fun ones. We discovered this last Sunday.
We’d driven through the Ballona Wetlands on many occasions and admired the birds that nest there. Each time, we’d ask, “Why don’t we visit there sometime?” We planned an errand nearby, so I suggested that we go.
I said, “We’ll have a nice walk and see some pretty birds!”
My wonderful husband agreed to my last-minute outing, though a little skeptical. “Well, we’re headed in that direction anyway…”
    From the moment we set out, things went wrong. Parking was only approachable from one direction. Of course, we were driving in the opposite direction, and making the loop back took considerable time. As soon as we got out of the van, I realized my next mistake. I foolishly had let my little daughter wear sandals. The woodchips and pebbles from the path kept working their way into her sandals and annoying her.
I snapped a few photos of the kids with the lovely tall grasses as a backdrop. After just five shots, the batteries ran out in my camera. “I thought we just replaced them!” I grumbled to my husband.
We walked around the edge of the marsh for a while. We saw birds, but only I saw the egret, the heron and a beautiful—but unidentified—bright blue bird. The kids and my husband saw nothing more exciting than ducks and lacked the patience to wait for anything else. “Binoculars!” I muttered. “I should have brought binoculars!”
    Between whines of “Can we leave yet?” and “I’m bored!” it occurred to me that this was our summer’s first fieldtrip flop.
    Just then, my husband called me over. “Honey,” he said, “we have a complication.” He had found an ATM card in the path. The name was Jewish, he pointed out. “We’ll have to try to return it either to the owner or the bank.” He showed me the card, and I did a double-take.
    “That’s so-and-so’s new husband!” I exclaimed.
When we reached home, I found the e-mail address I needed. The ATM card did indeed belong to my girlfriend’s new husband, and we returned it to him happily.
Discussing the incident over with the kids, my husband and I realized that perhaps the only reason that we went on this last minute outing was so we would find this gentleman’s ATM card and perform the mitzvah of hashovas aveidah. From our original perspective, the trip was not a success. However, Hashem had planned the whole incident with a different goal in mind, and being the Almighty, His plans did not go awry. We should be happy to witness His success, even when it runs contrary to our intentions.
    My husband and I are hoping our way of thinking rubs off on our children. When misadventures occur, we roll with the punches. Forgot sippy again? Buy a juice box or bottle of water on the drive. Can’t reach the tidal pools? Splash in the waves and play in the sand. Baby’s sick? Abba can stay home and enjoy rare alone time with her (and ply her with generic acetaminophen), while Ima takes the other kids to meet our friends at the Science Center.
    My husband and I are also trying to teach our kids how to look for the sunny side of cloudy situations. It was a drag when the high water prevented us from reaching the tide pools, but we saw an enormous jack rabbit on the hike back up from the beach. We didn’t make it to the Griffith Observatory until later than planned, but we got great parking since so many of the early-arrivals pulled out of the lot just as we arrived. If we’re stuck in traffic, at least we can play Geography together. And, boy, did it feel great to return that ATM card…before the owner even realized it was missing!
    Sometimes, a successful outing isn’t the most fun. But if it teaches you a life lesson, it’s still worth the experience.

Rebecca is a wife and mother of four. A former teacher, she is the author of A
Dozen Daisies for Raizy. She lives in Los Angeles.